Technically, Im not ‘alone’, I have hired the very wonderful Nanz to fill some gaps, however the vast majority of the time, yes, i’m alone in the office.

And I love it… But there are some psychological issues:

Cutting Class

I’ve spent the past several years trying to confirm to ‘normal’ work hours, to set a good example. I hated it because my job doesn’t revolve around normal hours. However, several times in the past few weeks, I’ve found myself sitting here feeling awfully guilty at the though of cutting out of work early.

Initially, I was worried that if I left early, everyone else on the floor would know that I wasn’t working and judge me. They kindly let me know that they aren’t in fact my bosses and they are more than happy for me to come and go as I please, and are very supportive of me living my life as I like.

Then I was worried that one afternoon off might lead to me becoming a slacker. Would I just stop working until I ran out of money? Hardly possible because the main reason I do this job is because I love it. Give me a week off and one major side effect is I come back 100% more inspired to get stuck back in.

But I’m still not really sure how to deal with feelings of guilt and confusion over not being at work when everyone else is. I’m not sure how other people do, but I’m starting to realise that I’m the only one who feels chained to my desk.

Turning down work

When you have mouths to feed, you do accept most things. No I don’t have to, I can focus only on the stuff I love. But it’s a super odd feeling telling someone you are not interested. I think it’s a little bit thrilling, but mainly just weird.

Providing customer security

This is the hardest one to convince others of. Most of us have worked with a one-man-band and had the whole thing end dismally.

I think there is a big difference between a freelancer and someone who has run a business. It’s attitude. You learn how establish backup plans, support workers and project plans. Even IF I can’t turn up at work, the only people who will be affected are the exact same people who would be affected if I worked in a company of hundreds. There are some jobs that land on my head, but they always would anyway. Other tasks CAN be passed over to the network of people I have always and will always be working with. The only difference now is that when you tell me to do something, I don’t pass it on to anyone else, who may, or may not get it done, and may or may not let me know if any issues. You get me, I will get it done.

No one ever works as hard as the owner of the company.

In summary

Who knows what the future will hold, but I’m really enjoying the break from being a boss. Life is much simpler, work is more focused and for a control freak like me, it’s nice to know I’m in charge of everything!