(For Dave)

In the last month, I think I have spent roughly 50% of my time feeling unmotivated and down. It might not be something I should admit here, but I have a sneaking suspicion that if you live in Wellington, you may have felt roughly the same way - we are severely lacking vitamin D and all the other joys of the sun.

I am not a sad person. I am very good at strategising myself out of sadness. I am not the type to pull the duvet further over my head and claim that it’s not worth getting up. I am good at pushing myself to do the opposite of what I want to do and get my sadness in line. So because it’s relevant to me and Dave kind of asked for it, here are my top 5 tips for beating the winter blues. These steps are also relevant for any other kind of blues that I have experienced.

1. Identify the problem

Write a list. I don’t care if it’s mental or physical, but it has to be done. List all the good things in your life (friends, upcoming activities, cool work project etc) against the bad things.

Normally you’ll have a lot on the good side, and one BIG, all consuming bad item on the bad side. But it’s still just one thing (This could range from it being dark and gloomy weather through to some actual real problem).

This puts life a little bit back in perspective.

2. Achieve something. Quick.

In my experience, when life feels like it is spiraling out of control or you just feel down, the best thing you can do is seize control of something you CAN do, and do it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s cooking dinner, cleaning the house, paining a picture or ticking 5 thing off your boring to-do list. You will feel an immediate sense of satisfaction. You will also feel like you have gained back some control of your life.

3. Laugh

It may feel stupid, and frivolous and totally inappropriate given how down you feel, but at the end of the day, despite everything you may think… We are a bunch of chemical connections and sometimes the best way to force the good connections is to just start making them.

So rent a comedy, or get your most happy, enjoyable and funny friends together and shoot the breeze. The simple act of laughing changes your entire emotional state. The more you do it, the more you want to do it and the less important the problem seems.

4. Sternly talk to yourself

These days, in this country, we simply do not come across real problems all that much. I think a lot of times it is this lack of problems that causes us to work our heads into a messed up state. Some psychology guy talked about the hierarchy of needs. We are born so high up the hierarchy that I think our brains misfire from the ease of it all.

I have found that post list writing, achieving and laughing, you are generally in a mindset where you can look as objectively at the problem as you will probably ever be able to manage. At this stage ask yourself:

• Can I imagine life without this problem in the future? (I normally set a timeframe based on the size of the problem)
• How am I going to stop this problem from being there in the future? Depending, once again on the size of the problem, it could be anything from taking a day off work and frolicking in the country side, the quitting your job, your relationship or your life and starting again.
• Whats the worst that could happen? This is generally for larger problems, but in saying that, in winter, you generally feel too stressed to contemplate the lack of problems taking a day off will entail. Once you realise that actually taking a risk on this solution wnt actually lead to much falling apart, you then become more inspired to do it.

5. Recognise the good and bad people around you.

People put people in baskets. If you are a happy person, in general, some people think that is reason enough to rely on you as their source of happiness, as they are the ’sad’ person. The problem with this situation is that you are just a person and in your sad times, these people offer you nothing but half an ear while you try to prop yourself up. You should probably avoid them while trying to get out of your slump.

Other people will drop everything for you when you need them. They will go over your lists, they wont just support you, they will demand you give them logical and reasoned answers as to why life is so hard and why your solutions are impossible. These people are gold and you should spend good time with them.

I have found time and time again in my life, when struggling with things, this simple 5-step process really works for me. However, I am good at forgetting it too (as Jim Donovan reminded me recently when he had to force me out of the office for coffee) :)