I seem to be running 3 months late this year – I’m just starting to realise what my new year’s resolutions are, and they all seem to be about self-improvement. I am thinking of going into an intensive phase of sorting some stuff out. This stuff falls into a couple of key categories:

NOT making the same mistakes again

I have recognised some trends in my life, around mucking up in the same way, time and time again. I *think* someone once told me that doing this repeatedly is in fact, a sign of insanity. I need to put a stop to that. Most of these mistakes follow the same path:
1. Natalie decides on something.
2. Natalie starts to have massive self doubt and second guesses everything
3. natalie freaks herself out so much, she can’t think straight on the issue any more.
4. Natalie does something very stupid and it blows up in her face.

So I’m going to work on point 2.

Set some goals

I have given myself a couple of years off, but there’s stuff I need to do. I need to pay off a mortgage so that I’m not stuck in a one bedroom apartment into my old age, I need to get more interests (i.e I need to learn that simply buying a Ukulele doesn’t make me a musician), I need to challenge my brain so by the end of the year I will feel like I am a slightly different and better person as a result of 2010.

I need to accept my past

I have struggled with this. I struggle to fit my mistakes into the person I think I am and find reason or lessons from them. Apparently this isn’t great news health wise. So this year, I am going to come to grips with choices I have made, things I have done and allow myself to absorb them as simply part of who I am. I need to stop letting my past hold me back and I need to stop hoping I can wipe some things from my history.

Breaking bad habits is TOUGH!

In the last couple of months, New Zealand has become a nation of Football fans. This is because somehow we got good at it. Not good on a world scale, but good in terms of now we EXIST on the world scale.

When the Wellington Phoenix first started out, no one but die hards went along. Yesterday, the stadium sold out, and we were chanting, waving, cheering and applauding like we’ve been caring about football outcomes for far longer than three months.

One thing that strikes me though is how awkward I feel when we BOO. (UPDATE: Thanks JD for the head’s up on spelling mistakes)

It feels somewhat un-sportsmanly.

It is sort of ok at the football because we are such underdogs, it’s not so much arrogant as the crowd doing everything in their power to give the team a chance (and we wont 3-1)… But I started to wonder about the Rugby World Cup, where we there is no chance of us being considered for the ‘at least you gave it a shot’ award.

Sometimes New Zealanders get a wee tad uptight about the All Blacks and it would be a real shame for us to Boo all the opposing teams we are hosting. It seems just a little rude?

Is it just because I don’t ‘get’ sport?

Yup, I’m late to catch on.

This week, I listed my old fridge on Trademe. The aim was to sell it painlessly.

What eventuated was a quite hilarious foray into the world of the second hand marketplace. I received 12 QUESTIONS about my fridge, ranging from the obvious, to such things as the existence of a butter conditioner. Half the questioners couldn’t spell. Half obviously couldn’t read, because they repeated previous questions.

Then, I became addicted to my own auction. My life froze in those final 5 minutes while the battle of wills dragged on… And wouldn’t you know it… Now I’m RICH! Last night, I had $111 extra dollars… Today I have $376.50!!!! This was a great surprise to me and I now feel justified paying almost $500 to get to Te Anau in April.

But life has to be fair and to contribute my end to the online economy, I am now also addicted to 1-day.co.nz

I have bought:

• Voodoo knives
• 12 vacuum pack bags (that I don’t need) for storage
• Two stainless steel rubbish bins (that I don’t need)
• An $11 mystery package, which I have received. The package is not worth $11, but the anticipation was worth twice as much

I am now going to list a rubbish bin and some vacuum pack bags on Trademe.

Now I understand why business block Trademe from their staff. You can waste hours on that thing.

I suppose this follows on from yesterday’s post and is something I’ve been thinking about for a while.

I lack the assertive gene. Or actually, I think I have about the normal level of assertiveness… But sometimes, in business you need a little more than an average assertiveness score.

I have managed to toddle along building relationships on the basis of trust and mutual respect. 99% of the time, this is the most rewarding and awesome work environment to be in.

But 1% of the time, I’m left feeling like I just got trampled and had no idea it was coming and nothing in my toolset to deal with it. I get emotional, I cry, I just do what I can to make the situation positive again… Even when I’m doing myself no favours in the process.

What I want to learn is how to take a deep breath, and in the moment, phrase my thoughts in a confident, sensible, unemotional manner. To get my point, my disagreement and my unhappiness across without sounding hysterical or without having to bury my issues and pretend all is well.

Some people do this well. Some people confuse assertive for aggressive. I would rather stay on the weak side of assertive. Actually what I would rather do is cut that 1% from my life, but I’ve been doing that for years and need to grow up a little.

Being more assertive is my new years resolution.

Team Ferguson and Extras was out in force again this year, a little older, a little more decrepit (with broken legs, pulled muscles, shin splints, colds and mid way toilet stops)…

Wellington turned on another beautiful day, hitting 23 degrees for possibly the only time this year, at the most inconvenient time and over 9,000 of us hit the streets en masse. And for the first time EVER one of us was in the top 1,000, even in the top 100, actually in the top 5 females. And would you believe it, it wasn’t me.

One thing about getting a wee bit fitter is (outside of bung leg and cold), running doesn’t HURT so much any more. The second half actually flew by, which, for all those who’ve had to drag me kicking and screaming to the finish line in previous years, will be a major surprise.

I’m starting to become afraid that exercise is a NORMAL part of my life now!

While I’m putting my lack of Valentines down to the fact I was out of my house all day and the handbag dogs/ dozens of roses/champagne baths/chocolates etc etc that I’m SURE were heading my way, were locked out… This guy had a bit of a bad day. And also on the handbag dog front, I DID want a Sidney Silky, but now that I have seen the Pug/Chihuahua cross (which, is called a CHUG), I’m reconsidering.

After accidentally walking down the street with a rose that I technically bought myself (on the basis that we bought a bunch of them for friends then forgot to give them away), and then realised I looked like one of those people who actually GOT ONE, I decided that next year I will do the same. I have a reputation to uphold, after all.

And then there was Frocks on Bikes, who welcome one and all to look fabulous while stylishly peddling along the waterfront, on bicycles built for one or two. This sort of event works well for those of us who are not wandering the streets hand in hand with someone who has showered us with gifts, AND those of us who are, and was actually enough to make me reconsider my hatred of cycling in the Wellington streets. Being surrounded by a hundred or so other fashionistas on their decorated bicycles does tend to give you a secure feeling on the roads AND it was also a good opportunity to show off my skills as an international supermodel for the cameras.

And to end a wonderful Valentines day, I bought my little goldfish a new ornament and watched Season Seven of Westwing, and wasn’t afraid to cry at the soppy bits (which I am DYING to tell my fellow Westwing late bloomers about). My aim for the year is to update my fish tank for ALL significant events so they they can take part in the festivities too and because (as the fish guy told us) once you buy fish, you lose your life. I now spend a lot of time ensuring RPats, Josh and CJ have an interesting and constantly updating environment so they feel like they are exploring a much larger world than what they live in.

Just hear the uproar around the police using FAKE speed cameras to discourage speeding.

All those people who have gone out and bought speed camera detectors (apparently 10% of us), are annoyed.

Does it really frustrate anyone else that every time a law is passed that is intended to help people, a raft of us go out deliberately to find a loophole/exception/avoidance technique to ensure it doesn’t apply to them.

What on earth do the police and media and hospitals in this country need to do to prove that no one is exempt from the effects of speeding? The 10% who are sold speed camera detectors on the basis that the cost is covered by the reduction in speeding fines they get, should be ashamed. You are the sort of people that force Governments to waste a whole lot of time and our tax money to force you to do something that’s downright logical.

We all know the POINT of speed cameras and speed laws, what I don’t understand is the point of trying to get around it.

For those of us who despair at the thought of showering women with expensive gifts on Valentines day, there is still hope!

Love to Roll (brought to you by the lovely ladies from Frocks on Bikes and one of my very best friends Claire Pascoe – who will use ANY excuse to get us on a bike), is a wonderfully frocky Valentines Day event that allows singles, couples and anyone in between to take advantage of the summer sun and take a cruisy ride around the Wellington Bays.

If you register your interest, you are also up to win some pretty fabulous prizes, and if you register your need, you can even borrow a bike.

This weekend is Sevens weekend in Wellington. Because New Zealanders LOVE a dress up party and because we also love rugby, we combined the two.

Amy and I were scammed into going to the gym at 8am this morning (which might be a good thing re: all I intend to do for the next 48 hours is party like it’s 2005) and by the time we were walking home, the streets were littered with super heros, fairies and assorted other groups of creatures.

What I love about Wellington is that it’s so small that when AC/DC come to Wellington suddenly EVERYONE you see is sporting a mullet and bogan clothes, when Sevens comes to town, everyone starts cross dressing and acting crazy. It’s very hard to miss out on knowing what’s going on and because we’re a town of loonies anyway, you stand out if you look or act normal.

See you on the other side!

Every time I go to Kiva these days, there’s NO ONE to lend money to.

I understand that there are bottlenecks in the loan application process, but it does give you the weird impression that no one is in need of money any more.

I wonder if Kiva started charging a fee, they could hire people to speed up the process? Maybe not necessary, but I did like the good old days when you could trawl through all the people trying to get stuff done and find someone who you feel a connection to, rather than clicking the first person you see on the basis that in 2 minutes their loan will have been fulfilled and your Kiva account will still have money in it.

This is in no means a complaint, it just seems weird that something so wildly successful has sort of ground itself to a halt.