I was at my doctor the other day and as I was leaving (perhaps because she knows a lot about my business), she asked if I would be happy to receive test results via text.

At first I said ‘yes’, then quickly realised my default ‘go technology’ line totally didn’t work in this particular situation.

Subsequent surveys have confirmed my reservations. Who wants to receive a text saying ‘u hav cancr - frm ur dr’? And even IF the text simply said ‘call us’ you’d freak. The fact of the matter is, that there are some things in life that will ALWAYS need the human touch.

On the other side, my surgeon texted me the other night to say ‘hope u r feeling ok’. I thought it was a bit weird, but super cool, especially because his magical hands did leave me feeling ok.

In summary, I am all for doctors spending large on technology, but I think the technology they should be spending on should be the equipment they use to save lives, not social media and bulk texting.

And also, for all you who care. 4 days after surgery:

• Mum is applying for a job at NASA - the liquidated meals she has whipped up will change the lives of the astronauts who need them
• I have had only one emergency - after leaving hospital I fainted in the car and had my poor mother screeching over to the side of the road and carrying me onto the back seat. It is a truely weird feeling to have your eyes open and not be able to see.
• Going to hospital is scary. Having anesthetic is fun. You get injected, you get high, you lose an hour of life.
• I think I lost about 5 kilos during this experience, through being unable to eat and the sheer weight of the monstrous teeth Manish extracted
• My advice is, if you can afford it, get health insurance. Private hospitals are like resorts, they are worth every penny

That’s it from ‘Fat Face’